The last couple of days it seems that the light at the end of the tunnel has gotten brighter and I feel like I am just past one of the crests on my road to recovery. With this I feel excited about all the projects and activities that I want to resume... pottery, Green Guys on the Drive, permaculture, cooking and getting back into the outdoors as well as the biggest endeavour of all for Tina and I... creating a family by adopting a child of our own.
Alongside this excitement I notice a desire to dive deep into one of these projects... the one that is top of mind right now is learning about permaculture so I can help a couple of friends out with their garden this year. It's a fun project and I like learning new things... Plus their is a lot of planning and research required which might also mean a few flowcharts ;)
At the same time I can't help but remember how quickly I dove back into work after my Whipple surgery four years ago. It was about at the same point in my recovery when I was on the upswing that I chose to dive back into what was at the time a terribly exciting job that I could really sink my teeth into... It also served as a good distraction from the sometimes emotionally laden path to recovery... not always a bad thing. So I sunk my teeth in and focussed on work and about 11 months after surgery ended up back in the hospital after having a GI bleed due to a lesion near the site of my surgery. I think this bleed was in part due to not paying attention to my own body's needs while also undertaking too much stressful work.
And here I am again. On the upswing and wanting to make a different choice. To follow the healing mantra of "hurry up and wait". So my plan is to approach these projects, which I guess is a large part of my normal life, in a more balanced approach then last time. To phase them in slowly while using this time right now as an opportunity to simply rest and relax and to learn how to take care of my body with this reconfigured digestive tract of mine. This is my plan and fingers crossed I'll stick to it!