When I had a Whipple surgery back in 2010 I had a top notched surgeon which helped me feel comfortable about the surgery. I had also not undergone a serious operation before.
Reflecting back I think I dealt with the preparation as best I could. At the time I was two months into an exciting new job, sitting on the board of directors of a non-profit, and a newly wed with a honeymoon only three months behind me. So plenty of distraction and borrowed confidence to help me out.
I was also scared of the surgery and uncomfortable with asking for help from friends and family. This is probably why I went to the surgery pre-assessment on my own on a cold snowy morning and then went off to work and also only told my sister and brother-in-law about the surgery the night before and my nephew only found out after the surgery had taken place from my brother.
After a Whipple and being diagnosed with desmoids and undergoing 6 months of chemo believe me I get that I cannot do this on my own. That my wonderful wife and I cannot do this on our own.
I have also learned that living with FAP can mean living with a lot of what-iffs…
what if the colectomy causes new desmoids to form or the existing ones to grow and then the chemo doesn’t work?
what if the j-pouch for the colectomy becomes inflamed and I have to live with a permanent colostomy?
These what-iffs can escalate quickly to the point as if it feels like death is knocking on my door. I have since learned that answering these what-iffs is key to keeping myself grounded in the hear and now.
I am determined to do this differently. To be more open to the help of loved ones and to arm myself with as much information as possible so I can answer those what-iffs and keep my doorstep free for friends and family.
Reflecting back I think I dealt with the preparation as best I could. At the time I was two months into an exciting new job, sitting on the board of directors of a non-profit, and a newly wed with a honeymoon only three months behind me. So plenty of distraction and borrowed confidence to help me out.
I was also scared of the surgery and uncomfortable with asking for help from friends and family. This is probably why I went to the surgery pre-assessment on my own on a cold snowy morning and then went off to work and also only told my sister and brother-in-law about the surgery the night before and my nephew only found out after the surgery had taken place from my brother.
After a Whipple and being diagnosed with desmoids and undergoing 6 months of chemo believe me I get that I cannot do this on my own. That my wonderful wife and I cannot do this on our own.
I have also learned that living with FAP can mean living with a lot of what-iffs…
what if the colectomy causes new desmoids to form or the existing ones to grow and then the chemo doesn’t work?
what if the j-pouch for the colectomy becomes inflamed and I have to live with a permanent colostomy?
These what-iffs can escalate quickly to the point as if it feels like death is knocking on my door. I have since learned that answering these what-iffs is key to keeping myself grounded in the hear and now.
I am determined to do this differently. To be more open to the help of loved ones and to arm myself with as much information as possible so I can answer those what-iffs and keep my doorstep free for friends and family.